Concerning our relationship with our mother, as kids, my brother and I knew our importance in the world: on a good day, it lay somewhere just below the cats and just above a decent book or crossword puzzle.  I’ve said repeatedly to her, only somewhat jokingly, that, in my next life, I’d like to come back as one of her cats—her updated response to this comment is “You’d better hurry.”

Recently, I went to North Carolina (where my mother now lives) to be with her during her cancer surgery. The plan was that I would stay with her at the hospital for as long as she could tolerate me and then I was to go back to her place to care for her two oversized and much beloved Maine Coon cats. I arrived late into the evening the night before her surgery so I didn’t get much of an opportunity to talk to my mom before I went to bed. Given that we had to be at the hospital at 5:00 the next morning, instead of trying to hurriedly walk me through her instructions for the hyper-care of the cats, she pointed out, taped to the refrigerator, a handwritten list of directions for me to follow. I read over them when I returned from the hospital that night and was startled by her instructions (in spite of the fact that I really shouldn’t have been):

“Ollie’s food bowl is the stainless steel one on the bathroom floor. She gets one scoop of food in the morning. If she thinks that her food supply has gotten too low during the day, she won’t eat. If this happens, use your fingers to mound the remaining cat food into a little pile. You will have to do this several times a day.

"Indy’s food bowl is the plastic one on the kitchen floor. He gets one scoop of food in the morning. Make sure Ollie does not eat his food. He gets angry when she does this so it is most likely to happen when nobody is looking.

"Indy’s water bowl is on the floor near the door to the pantry. He gets very thirsty so remember to change his water at least twice a day. For Ollie, she drinks out of a running faucet only so make sure the kitchen faucet always has a steady drip flowing. Also make sure that one of the dining room chairs is pushed against the kitchen cabinet so that Ollie doesn’t have to jump too high to get to her water.

"If anything happens while I am in the hospital, I don’t want a preacher, services, visitation, or flowers. Please have me cremated. Do whatever you want with the ashes.

"And don’t forget to clean the kitty litter every single day.

Love,

Mom"