I started in with my concerns as soon as she identified herself. "Hey. My name's Ann and I really hope you're going to be able to help me. We've got two tickets to see Todd Snider on Friday night but I think my friend has come up with some lame reason as to why she can't come. She was in a car wreck last night and..."

She took in a lot of air on the other end. "Oh no--is she ok?" Aww--isn't that sweet? I had a sensitive one on the phone and I love, love, love these types...

"Well, yeah, I reckon. I mean, she's sore and all, but I really think she's gonna try to use this little head injury thing as an excuse for bailing on me for the Todd show."

"Wow--I just hope she's ok. Is she in the hospital?"

"Oh I don't know. I am so mad at her, I'm not so sure I care. I mean, she knew this Todd show was coming up--why did she have to go and get in an accident before the show?" The line went almost silent, but I could hear motion on the other end. I suspected she was waving her co-workers over, sharing the phone between their ears.

Once I was fairly convinced they'd all had time to gather, I forged ahead.

"Well, I know you've got your licenses and such and then this pesky business about the ABC Board, but you don't have anything posted regarding the age requirements for this show. I mean, is it an all ages show? I'd like to bring my son and he's only thirteen..."

"Oh that's no problem--we'll just card him at the door and mark his hand so that he can't drink."

"Well, that's not an issue for him here lately anyway. He hasn't had a drop since he got out of rehab last year. And he's almost got this meth thing under control too...that's a lot harder, y'know, than just putting down the bottle." And then I cleared my throat just a little so that I could squeal, "Oh, I tell you, my little baby makes me so proud, he surely does."

"Yes, I'm sure he does, ma'am, I'm sure he does."

"Do you have kids? 'Cause if you do, you gotta watch 'em these days. Boy you gotta watch 'em. And I don't just mean with their friends and stuff, but I mean they'll be sneaking in and watching you and taking your stuff. Mine had seen me doing all kinds of things before I plugged that hole in the bathroom door...and I mean to tell you, he started taking my cigarettes when he was just eight but I loved him right through it. I knew it was just a phase he was going through."

"Well, okay. But, yes, you can bring your son--that won't be any problem."

I showed a chink in my armour briefly by expressing my gratitude. "Thank you, this will mean a lot to him. And to me. Todd's a solid guitarist and my son can learn a lot from watching others. This will be a nice experience for him."

"Ma'am, I just have to ask you--um--were you joking about that other stuff."

"Yes," I offered, and then when she collapsed into a rather comfortable laugh, I added, "well, mostly." She laughed harder.

"I've got to meet you. You really had me there for a minute--when you get here Friday night, will you ask for me?"

I thought for a second and then gave the only reasonable answer that popped into my head: "No."

And, as for how the evening went, outside of a brief discussion as to the decision one had to make between throwing out half of a chocolate milkshake or going in to see Todd, we had a really, really good time at the show.